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Love Relationship Lessons from Nascar

Now what, you may ask, could my love relationship or marriage possibly have to do with a bunch of cars racing at high speeds around a circular track? Whether or not you are a fan, there are several potential lessons that can be learned from a NASCAR race that can actually help you keep your relationship close and intimately connected. And we don’t mean how to earn lots of money from lots of endorsements!

Here are 3 lessons you can learn from observing the NASCAR experience. These lessons can help you create and sustain a connected intimate marriage or love relationship.

1. Stay Tuned In

If you’ve ever seen a NASCAR race, you can’t help but notice what happens when the driver pulls into “pit row” during the race to have the car refreshed or repaired. The quick working and highly efficient pit team run out to the car and make quick decisions about what the car needs to perform at its fullest potential when it heads back onto the track. It might be fuel, new tires, or parts tightened or adjusted. Needless to say, all team members have to be tuned into the car and driver to assess and quickly attend to needs.

In order for a relationship to be and stay close, connected and intimate, everyone on the “team” (meaning you and your partner) must stay tuned in to the needs of your relationship on all levels. This includes dynamics in the bedroom, how to divide up house chores or child responsibilities and everything in between. When issues come up that put your relationship off-kilter, they need to be acknowledged, talked about and resolved as quickly as possible.

2. It’s All About Teamwork

Now, of course, there are rumored rivalries and mean-spiritedness among the NASCAR drivers—even among drivers on the same racing team. However, out on the track, many moments of cooperation occur. It is a frequent race strategy for drivers on the same team to tail one another and help block out others from different teams. And while there is only one winner at the end of the race, drivers frequently express appreciation and congratulations to team members and drivers on other teams for a well-run race. And, thinking back to the all-important pit crew, drivers always voice their gratitude for their pit crew’s hard work.

When one person in a marriage or love relationship enjoys a success, there are vital elements of support and encouragement that helped make that success happen. The cliché “I couldn’t have done it without you,” holds especially true for intimate relationships. Without mutual support, a connection is severely limited and neither person does as well as he or she could in life. At the same time, it is undeniable that when we communicate our appreciation to our partner for the encouragement and backing we receive, it instantly strengthens our connection which, in turn, strengthens intimacy.

3. Getting Back on the Road After a Pile Up

For some, what makes NASCAR events exciting to watch are the wrecks or pile ups that undoubtedly occur in any given race. Of course, none of us want any of the drivers to be injured and especially not killed. At the same time, however, there is a certain thrill to seeing these engineered-for-safety cars banging up, tumbling, and even catching on fire. Perhaps the excitement is witnessing such a spectacularly horrible thing and then watching the driver get out unhurt. In some cases, we get to watch the driver and car emerge from pit row able to finish the race!

Just as NASCAR pile ups seem inevitable, so too are the conflicts in our intimate relationships. These can range from “banged up” feelings to a major “wreck” leaving you feeling “totaled.” After conflicts— no matter how intense or mild—we ultimately want to be able to get up, tend to the damage and get back into the relationship as best as we can and as quickly as is possible. Hurt feelings left to fester will only cause more disconnection.

At the same time, it is important to address what happened and look at the factors that led to the conflict in the first place. If each person can keep an open heart, listen to not only his or her own needs, but also to what the other person requires to heal hurt feelings, re-connecting can happen and you both can move on together after the conflict.

Creating and keeping the connection in your love relationship or marriage close and intimate is possible with attention, teamwork and a willingness to heal together after conflicts. Keep your hearts open and enjoy the ride!

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